Meghan goes to India - Mike's Blog

[mightymulhern]

Meghan took a work trip to India. She left on Saturday 2/8/2014 around 2pm while 2 beasties slept. The following is an account of what happened while she was gone.

[mightymulhern]

The following takes place on Saturday the 8th between 2pm and 9:15pm.

2014-02-08 2:00pm - Meghan leaves for the airport

2014-02-08 3:00pm - Sydney wakes up cross from nap. We watch The Cat in the Hat.

2014-02-08 4:05pm - Rowan wakes up cross from nap, is angry, and reeks of pee.

2014-02-08 4:10pm - Combination restraint/diaper change completed. Rowan is in a nuclear meltdown. Mike noticed that we have 2 more wipes in the house.

2014-02-08 4:30pm - Rowan won't stop screaming and is put back to bed.

2014-02-08 4:30pm - Rowan is released from baby jail and fed apple sauce.

2014-02-08 4:45pm - Load of laundry with ank started.

2014-02-08 5:00pm - Mike, Sydney, and Rowan go to Walgreens for wipes. Kids wait in the car.

2014-02-08 5:15pm - Mike, Sydney, and Rowan collect bath items to take downstairs. Mike starts water boiling for dinner.

2014-02-08 5:30pm - Sydney screams at Mike for making up a funny song about poop. Both children are in the bathtub.

2014-02-08 5:45pm - Sydney gets out of the bathtub. Mike dries her off. Meanwhile Rowan takes the plastic whale watering can and pours half a whale full of water on the bathroom rug. Mike yells at Rowan witnessing the act in slow motion. Rowan immediately gets the hiccups.

2014-02-08 5:50pm - Rowan, now dressed, takes 2 steps toward the bathroom door and wipes out on a wet spot on the tile floor. Rowan begins screaming.

2014-02-08 5:55pm - Mike determines that Rowan isn't hurt and goes upstairs to finish making dinner.

2014-02-08 6:00pm - Rowan stops screaming. Both children sit down to huge plates full of buttered noodles.

2014-02-08 6:10pm - Both children clean their plates. Peace and silence is enjoyed. Rowan finishes Mike's noodles asking for “more”.

2014-02-08 6:15pm - Mike braids Sydney's hair with reasonable success. Rowan gets in the swing. Thomas songs are played on the computer. Sydney plays with her marker board.

2014-02-08 6:20pm - Rowan (now out of the swing) while looking at Mike draws on his thumb and then proceeds to swat all of the magnetic letters out of the easel sending them over a 3' radius. Sydney decorates dry erase cup cakes.

2014-02-08 6:29pm - Sydney yells at Rowan for drawing on the side of the easel. Mike takes markers away from Rowan. Rowan plays with the Lincoln Log train by the TV. Sydney starts swinging.
2014-02-08 6:42pm - The kids switch places.

2014-02-08 6:44pm - Sydney begins attempting to poop. Farts are heard. Rowan laughs.

2014-02-08 6:46pm - Pooping complete. Rowan continues swinging in the big kid swing and says “poo poo” over and over while Mike helps Sydney in the bathroom.

2014-02-08 7:00pm - Mike takes Rowan upstairs to go to bed. First Mike fills up Rowans humidifier. Rowan then precedes to attempt to turn each knob on the stove. Mike says “No” loudly 4 times. Next Rowan picks up the cap to the humidifier and drops it on the floor. “uh oh”

2014-02-08 7:04pm - Tooth brushing goes fine, but Mike smells poop. Mike changes Rowan's diaper. After removing the pooping diaper and wiping Rowan, Mike turns to get the new diaper. Upon turning back around, Rowan has peed in his Jammies. Mike re-jammifies Rowan.

2014-02-08 7:07pm - Mike takes Rowan to read books. Rowan selects a book jacket without a book in it. Eventually 3 books are read.

2014-02-08 7:29pm - Mike gets Sydney desert and both go back downstairs. A Cat in the Hat marathon commences.

2014-02-08 7:55pm - Sydney negotiates a Cat in the Hat instead of books deal.

2014-02-08 8:25pm - Sydney is instantly no longer sleepy and attempts various stall tactics rather than going to bed. Eventually teeth are brushed and Sydney gets in bed.

2014-02-08 8:45pm - Mike leaves the room. Sydney is wide awake. Mike tells Sydney that the noise outside is a car in the Samuelson's driveway.

2014-02-08 8:46pm - Mike begins washing dishes.

2014-02-08 8:47pm - Sydney emerges to ask about a strange noise. Mike sends her back to bed.

2014-02-08 9:15pm - Dishes are finished. Mike briefly considers doing work but declines that fun.

[mightymulhern]

The following takes place on Sunday the 9th between 6:15am and 10:00pm.


2014-02-09 6:15am - Rowan starts whining.

2014-02-09 6:25am - Rowan and Mike get up.

2014-02-09 6:40am - Rowan finishes his yogurt and starts swinging.

2014-02-09 6:55am - Sydney wakes up. Both kids sit on the couch. We start watching Thomas and discuss breakfast. We're out of the bars the kids like. Cereal is running low. Two waffles remain. Sydney opts for bagels. Mike gets bagels for both kids.

2014-02-09 7:25am - Sydney watches Smurfs. Rowan returns to the swing.

2014-02-09 8:05am - Rowan begins slamming the door on the play refrigerator seeing just how loud he can slam it. Mike and Sydney yell at him to stop which just seems to encourage him. Mike changes a poopy diaper and gets Rowan dressed. Rowan selects green socks with camo pants and an orange Halloween shirt.

2014-02-09 8:10am - Rowan returns to the play kitchen. Mike and Sydney finish watching smurfs, give Sydney an eye drop, and go over her spelling words.

2014-02-09 8:30am - Rowan stands on the kid potty, sticks his head under the pink blanket, and plays with Sydney's doll house.

2014-02-09 8:45am - Sydney plays computer. Dad turns on music. Rowan breaks into a crazy dance when Journey – Don't Stop Believin comes on. Later Rowan puts the remains of his bagel down the toy car ramp. Then Rowan swings super high in the big kid swing.

2014-02-09 9:00am - Rowan plays under the card table with the back of the car ramp. Sydney returns to swinging. Cinderella – Heartbreak Station is now blasting.

2014-02-09 9:30am - Sydney and Rowan are eating applesauce together quietly.

2014-02-09 10:45am - Everyone plays nicely. Mike dumps out all of Rowan's wooden puzzles, put all the pieces in a pile, and lined the boards. Rowan happily reassembled all the puzzles in short order.

2014-02-09 10:50am - After much playing, Rowan interrupts Mike in the bathroom and insists that he needs to sit on the potty. Mike takes of Rowan's diaper and puts him on the potty. Rowan sits there for a minute and reaches for the toilet paper. Mike gives him a piece and Rowan pretends to wipe. Mike puts his diaper back on and Rowan flushes the potty. We are now apparently mimicking potty usage.

2014-02-09 11:30am - Lunch while watching Smurfs – Grilled cheese sandwiches, apple slices, and penguin crackers. Sydney ate all but ¼ of her sandwich. Rowan ate perhaps half.

2014-02-09 12:30pm - Rowan is down for nap.

2014-02-09 1:13pm - Sydney is asleep.

2014-02-09 2:45pm - Sydney wakes up and starts watching the Cat in the Hat. Mike takes a shower.

2014-02-09 3:00pm - Rowan wakes up. The kids both eat applesauce and pretzels and watch the Grinch that Stole Christmas. Rowan swings through most of it on the big kid swing.

2014-02-09 4:30pm - Mike orders Papa Johns.

2014-02-09 5:00pm - Mike, Sydney, and Rowan eat pizza, cheese sticks, and chicken poppers upstairs and then start picking up for Bozena.

2014-02-09 5:45pm - Mike starts filling up the bathtub while the kids play.

2014-02-09 6:15pm - The kids get out of the tub. The water by this point is barely warm. Both kids had fun with the bath blocks. Rowan pulled the tail off of one of Sydney's mermaids 3 or 4 times uttering “uh oh” after each time and handing the mermaid to Mike to fix.

2014-02-09 6:30pm - While looking at pictures on Mike's phone, Rowan sees a picture of Meghan and says “Mom”. He then very seriously motions to see more pictures of Mom.

2014-02-09 6:45pm - Mike, Sydney, and Rowan pick up the basement. Actually Rowan clacks around in blinky princess high heels while Mike and Sydney pick up the room.

2014-02-09 7:15pm - Rowan is in bed. Teeth were brushed using toothpaste.

2014-02-09 7:55pm - Sydney negotiates for more Cat in the Hat. Sydney and Mike eat part of an 8” chocolate chip cookie from Papa Johns for desert.

2014-02-09 8:25pm - Sydney is now bouncing off the walls from the sugar and doesn't want to go to bed. Mike gets her in bed and leave her room by 8:45.

2014-02-09 8:55pm - Mike is doing dishes and Sydney emerges with a sad face saying she misses mom. Mike puts Sydney back to bed.

2014-02-09 9:15pm - Mike finishes the dishes, packs up his work bag, gets a drink, and turns to head downstairs. Sydney is standing in the door to the living room and can't sleep. Mike and Sydney watch half an hour of Pawn Start and Mike puts Sydney to bed again.

2014-02-09 10:00pm - Mike emerges from Sydney's room for the 3rd time. Sydney appears to be asleep.

[mightymulhern]

The following takes place on Monday the 10th between 6:30am and 11:30pm.

2014-02-10 6:30am - Mike wakes up. No one is whining. Mike stretches out. “Wait! What if they stopped breathing!??!” Mike gets up and wakes up both kids. Rowan immediately asks about Mom.

2014-02-10 6:35am - Rowan picks through all of the yogurts and selects the one remaining key lime pie one.

2014-02-10 6:36am - Rowan asks to go downstairs and throws a fit when Mike says no. Mike lays him on the floor in the living room and precedes to completely ignore him while packing up bags. Sydney also completely ignores him.

2014-02-10 6:40am - Sydney selects the last 2 remaining dipped bars. Rowan, noticing that he's being totally ignored gets up decides to eat breakfast.

2014-02-10 6:41am - Mike assists Rowan with his yogurt and then takes him to get dressed.

2014-02-10 6:50am - Sydney spontaneously goes and gets dressed without any shenanigans. Mike briefly puzzles over this and decides not to comment further.

2014-02-10 7:00am - Mike starts the car. Rowan loses his mind as his daddy is swallowed into the frigid tundra of the driveway. Oh wait... he came back.

2014-02-10 7:02am - Mike takes a shower. Sydney sits and patiently reads Rowan books. Cuteness ensues. Sydney then helps Rowan put his coat on.

2014-02-10 7:20am - Mike drops off the beasties and misses his train by 2 minutes.

2014-02-10 8:19am - Mike boards a train for downtown schlepping 4 extra laptops.

{{work and school theoretically happen}}

2014-02-10 5:40pm - Mike realizes he has no dinner plan and is about to arrive to 2 wild starving beasties and orders Chinese carryout from the train.

2014-02-10 6:15pm - Mike sits at the red light between Prospect Ave and Mt Prospect Rd waiting for a green light to turn left. One light cycle occurs. A train comes. Another light cycle occurs. An alien abduction may have occurred in the eternity spent at that light.

2014-02-10 6:30pm - Mike comes home with Chinese food. Rowan runs yelling into the kitchen super excited to see Dad. Everyone eats. Sydney elects to have leftover pizza. In the course of 5 minutes, a rice bomb has gone off in the newly cleaned living room and Mike is forced to vacuum. Rowan yells at the vacuum cleaner and Sydney relocates him to an out of the way location distracting him with a book.

2014-02-10 6:45pm - While putting away the vacuum cleaner, Rowan and Sydney very carefully wind up the cord. Rowan also feels the need to unplug and re-plug the lamp for no reason. Mike tells Rowan to leave the plug alone. Rowan goes deaf for some unexplained reason. Mike takes the cord from Rowan to which Rowan returns a look like “what?”

2014-02-10 7:00pm - Mike puts Rowan in his jammies, brushes his teeth with toothpaste, reads 3 books, and puts Rowan to bed. Rowan gives Sydney a big hug and kiss before bed.

2014-02-10 7:30pm - Mike and Sydney go downstairs to watch Cat in the Hat. Mike braids Sydney's hair which is 100x harder dry than wet. Mike comments that this is kind of fun. Sydney comments that “it's not fun for me.”

2014-02-10 7:55pm - Sydney negotiates another Cat in the Hat instead of books.

2014-02-10 8:30pm - Sydney attempts to re-negotiate. Mike puts her to bed amid much silliness. When brushing her teeth, Sydney spits water across the sink and onto the shower curtain.

2014-02-10 8:45pm - Tom Keifer begins Gypsy Road and Mike exits. Sydney is asleep.

2014-02-10 8:50pm - Mike wrestles a team lift sized box from Amazon into the house while an arctic blast chills the kitchen. Midway through the procedure, Mike decides that jammy pants and bare feet were not the appropriate attire for box manhandling a 200lb box of diapers on the permafrost of the driveway.

2014-02-10 11:00pm - Mike goes to bed after watching 2 episodes of Ancient Aliens.

2014-02-10 11:30pm - Mike hears the floor creak once. There's no way the floor can creak unless someone is walking on it. Mike suddenly wishes he had a gun in bed and quickly goes through a mental list of everything he did before bed including locking the doors. Eventually wide eyed alertness gives way to sleep as no more creaks are heard.

[mightymulhern]

The following takes place on Tuesday the 11th between 2:30am and 9:00pm.

2014-02-11 2:30am - Rowan starts whining. Mike briefly contemplates getting up and rolls over. Apparently Rowan didn't whine long because Mike goes back to sleep.

2014-02-11 3:30am - Mike wakes up.

2014-02-11 4:30am - Mike wakes up.

2014-02-11 5:30am - Mike wakes up.

2014-02-11 6:30am - Mike wakes up, gets dressed, and brushes his teeth. Sydney knocks on the bathroom door.

2014-02-11 6:35am - Mike and Sydney wake up Rowan. He's zonked with his ank over his head. Mike feels a moment of terror and reaches out to make sure Rowan is breathing which he of course is. Rowan sits up wondering why we're in there. “Mom?” “No. Mom doesn't come home until Friday. Today is Tuesday.”

2014-02-11 6:37am - Rowan selects a yellow yogurt realizing that no green or orange remain. Sydney asks for waffles and attempts to manage Rowan while Mike makes the waffles. During breakfast, Mike solicits feedback from Sydney for a grocery list.

2014-02-11 6:45am - Rowan picks out a book while Sydney gets ready. Mike decides to read it.

2014-02-11 7:30am - Mike drops Rowan off and engages Ms. Chris in a conversation regarding Rowan's amazing puzzle solving abilities. Rex loses his mind as if he has amnesia and can't recall our arrival yesterday when he also lost his mind.

2014-02-11 7:52am - Mike drives Sydney to school. Sydney is clearly cross, but Mike has no idea why. Attempts to get information from Sydney fail. Mike briefly considers donut bribery but quickly comes to his senses. Eventually they get to Bright Horizons. Sydney dances around Mike acting like a goof ball. She later coughs and Mike comments about that's what she gets for being a 6-pack-a-day smoker. Ms. Rochelle laughs. Sydney is in rare form and eventually goes to play with Asya.

2014-02-11 9:00am - Mike goes to the grocery store with the mornings list and starts shopping in the familiar liquor aisle. With Bud Select and an Angry Orchard sampler pack in the cart, Mike notices that the cart wants to drift right and will only turn left if the wheels are slid sideways. Mike decides to switch carts and feels the need to explain his actions to the nun standing by the carts. She advises him to eat his Wheaties. Mike has moderate success in finding everything but struggles to find the applesauce. Eventually finding it, Mike can't remember what brand of applesauce Sydney won't eat.

Mott's natural? If it's natural, my kids aren't going to eat it.
Mott's reduced sugar? Yeah right.
Mott's high fiber? Are you F***ing kidding me?
Mott's Original? Ah yes. That sounds appropriate. The stuff that tasted good before some moron felt the need to alter the recipe.

2014-02-11 10:15 - Mike is home putting the groceries away. Crap! We already had 2 boxes of frozen waffles. We weren't out. Doh! We already had 2 bags of pretzels in the pantry. The bare island in the kitchen was a false alarm. Eventually all of the food and cleaning supplies are put away. Mike starts working.

2014-02-11 1:00 - Mike runs out for lunch. Unhappy with the Tom Petty CD he was listening to, Mike flips back to the radio and flips through the favorites. Commercial, Commercial, Commercial, Ahhh Tom Petty. Perfect.

2014-02-11 4:55 - Mike picks up Rowan. Someone has chosen to park at the very end of the Rubber Ducky driveway meaning Mike can squeeze by or park on the street. Mike skillfully maneuvers the Saab between a mountain of snow and the other car. The other parent appears surprised to find Mike and Saab at the top of the driveway when leaving. Rowan puts the building blocks he was playing with away and agrees to leave.

2014-02-11 5:05am - Mike arrives at Bright Horizons to pick up Sydney and sure enough, every parking spot is taken. Mike drives through the circle drive and parks waiting for someone to leave. Sure enough as one person leaves, another lucky parent pulls in. Eventually space opens up.

Mike parks and removes Rowan from the car seat. Mike notes resistance as he pulls back from the car and notes that he can now see Rowan's diaper. Apparently the car seat strap hooked the cuff of his jeans and Mike, in a swift single motion, de-pantsed his one year old in the Bright Horizon parking lot. Rowan's expression – Oh the indignity.

Mike and Rowan go in to get Sydney. After holding Rowan for several minutes, Mike puts him down to assist Sydney with the organization of her papers. In the course of several minutes of picking through her cubby there is still more in the cubby than her school bag. Meanwhile Rowan flips out at a scrap of paper on the floor and one of Sydney's friends dutifully disposes of it making all right in the world.

2014-02-11 5:35pm - Mike, Sydney, and Rowan arrive at home. As if on queue, Rowan circles the kitchen whining at the fridge, pointing at the island, and pointing at the cabinet. Mike discusses the dinner plan with Sydney. Rowan urgently needs to eat everything in this house NOW.

Mike starts both Beasties with applesauce and then makes them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Sydney ends up eating all of hers except the crust and has a second applesauce. Rowan devourers 4 strawberries, his applesauce, and a quarter of his sandwich. He also washes it down with V8 fusion juice.

2014-02-11 6:00pm - Mike takes the beasties downstairs and starts a bath. The bath is mostly uneventful until Rowan decides that throwing bath blocks at Sydney's head is the best game ever. Nothing deters him so we end the bath.

2014-02-11 6:30pm - Mike swings Rowan high in the big kid swing. Sydney admonishes Mike that Rowan's head is too close to the ceiling. In truth, Rowan's head was more than 3' from the ceiling.

Later, Sydney gets annoyed because she tries to tell Mike something and he doesn't hear her right. She starts yelling and saying "Blah Blah Blah". Rowan starts emphatically imitating her. The madder she gets, the fiercer the imitation and the harder Mike laughs. Several minutes later the yelling and laughing dissolves into silliness.

Eventually Sydney works on her homework and Rowan plays under the card table with his car ramp.

2014-02-11 7:00pm - Mike takes Rowan upstairs to put him to bed. Rowan announces that he has poop. Indeed he does. Mike changes his diaper and goes to fill up his humidifier. Rowan walks over to the stove and grins at Mike. Mike, in a clearly fed up voice says, please do not pull the towel off the oven door handle and throw it on the floor. Please do not play with the stove at all. Rowan touches the towel and then obediently walks away.

Mike reads Rowan the witch book, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, and The Three Little Pigs. After that Mike tells Rowan to go find his ank. On the way to his ank, Rowan notices his dinner and sits down to finish his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Eventually Mike gets his teeth brushed and puts him in bed.

2014-02-11 7:30pm - Mike takes Sydney downstairs to watch The Cat in the Hat.

2014-02-11 8:00pm - Sydney negotiates additional Cat in the Hat.

2014-02-11 8:15pm - Mike and Sydney end up in the rocking chair before Mike realizes it and has to reverse course. Sydney gets in bed without incident and is snoring before Gypsy Road comes on.

[mightymulhern]

The following takes place on Wednesday the 12th between 12:00am and 8:20pm.

2014-02-12 12:00am - Mike goes to bed.

2014-02-12 12:30am - Rowan starts crying. Mike explains that we're not getting up. Rowan places his hand in his mouth and screams. Mike holds Rowan and continues to explain that we will not under any circumstances be getting up. Rowan rejects Mike's plan and continues screaming. Mike sings Bingo and Rowan immediately quiets down and puts his head on Mike's shoulder. Mike sings Wheels on the Bus and puts Rowan back to bed.

2014-02-12 3:30am - Mike wakes up.

2014-02-12 6:15am - Rowan starts whining again. Mike gets up.

2014-02-12 6:20am - Mike suggests a new breakfast to Rowan. Rowan looks at the yogurt in the fridge and then shuts the door deciding to give oatmeal a try. Rowan can barely subdue the pains of starvation in the 90s of microwaving required to make the oatmeal. Mike starts feeding Rowan the oatmeal which Rowan eagerly chomps down.

Sydney emerges and asks for cocoa krispies. She feeds Rowan while Mike retrieves it.

Mike returns and takes over the spooning duties. Rowan coughs with a mouth full of oatmeal and then gags. A small amount of oatmeal falls out of his mouth onto his ank. Oatmeal is forever spoiled and we move onto something else.

Rowan decides to have some strawberries and devours 4.

2014-02-12 6:35am - Mike gets Rowan dressed. Sydney lurches around like a goofball and tells Mike that she is a giant. She then pretends to take a bit out of Mike's shirt. Getting more wound up, she then runs in and pretends to fart on Mike – bending over and making a farting noise. Rowan things this is hilarious and imitates it. Sydney repeats and so does Rowan.

2014-02-12 6:45am - Mike takes Rowan to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Rowan turns the water on and Mike fills up the cup. Rowan spits in the sink. Rowan then drinks the water and pours it out. Then the tooth brushing begins. Mike gives Rowan another drink.

2014-02-12 6:49am - Mike brushes Sydney's teeth and hair. Rowan loses his mind about something on the sink which Mike can't figure out and Mike relocates him outside the bathroom. Rowan comes back and demands that his hair be brushed too.

2014-02-12 6:55am - Mike starts the car. Sydney starts putting her coat on and Mike tells her to wait so that the car can warm up and defrost. (It's 7 degrees outside)

2014-02-12 6:56am - Sydney is fully dressed wearing hat and coat. Rowan plays with the purple computer.

2014-02-12 7:10am - Mike packs up the car with beasts and parcels and then begins the journey to school.

2014-02-12 7:20am - A squirrel is sitting on the gate on the way to the Rubber Ducky back yard. It moves when Mike and Rowan come within 2 feet. Rowan is startled. After walking through the gate, the squirrel which is now 18” away from them takes off down the fence. This scares the crap out of Rowan (figuratively).

2014-02-12 7:35am - Mike drops Sydney off at Bright Horizons and talks to Ms. Rochelle. Sydney acts like a total goof ball so Mike tells Ms. Rochelle stories about her. Eventually Sydney joines Asya and company in building the “biggest pyramid in the world”.

While Mike talks to Ms. Rochelle, Sydney and her friends conspire to all run up, growl, and give Mike a big group hug.

After telling too many stories on her, Sydney orders Mike to leave. Mike exercises this opportunity to escape Kindergarten.

2014-02-12 11:30am - Mike discovers that crystallized honey can be fixed by placing the honey bear in boiling water for an extended period of time.

2014-02-12 2:00pm - Mike discovers that the buckles on Sydney's car seat have been recalled because they can be difficult to unbuckle. "Really?!" How did someone not notice this a year ago? They are extremely hard to unbuckle.

2014-02-12 3:00pm - Mike calls into a meeting to discuss the status of known corrections for a conversion run on Monday. Mike listens as the client debates the procedure re-testing and using a software tracking tool to re-test rather than actually ever talking about any specific corrections. Mike suspects that he missed the memo telling him to put the cover sheet on his TPS reports.

2014-02-12 5:05pm - Mike picks up Rowan. Rowan was in no hurry to leave school at all.

2014-02-12 5:25pm - Mike picks up Sydney. Rowan immediately gets down and starts playing. Sydney spends an eternity transferring her belongings to her school bag.

2014-02-12 5:40pm - Mike, Sydney, and Rowan arrive at home. Rowan says "bah-puh" upon walking in the door. Mike talks the kids into eating macaroni and cheese and apple slices. Rowan follows Mike like a shadow. Sydney cleans her plate. Rowan eats some. Mike discovers that the apples he bought yesterday are a little sour.

2014-02-12 5:50pm - Rowan and Sydney fight over her hair ties. Mike takes them away. Sydney gets cross.

2014-02-12 5:55pm - Rowan suddenly gets concerned and poops his diaper. Mike sees this coming and offers to put him on the potty. Rowan sternly says “No!”. A couple minutes later, it is very important to Rowan to sit on the potty. Mike puts him on there carefully removing his full diaper. This satisfies Rowan. Mike stops him from attempting to wipe and then attempts to minimize the mess of a poopy-bottomed toddler on a potty. In doing this, Mike bundles up and tapes off Rowan's diaper and then wipes him with an un-flusable wipe. At the moment of poopy wipe in hand, Mike realizes there's nothing he can do with this wipe and throws it in the garbage.

2014-02-12 5:57pm - Mike takes out the bathroom garbage.

2014-02-12 6:00pm - Rowan and Sydney get in the tub. Rowan insists on sitting in the middle of the tub and Sydney demands space. Mike washes the beasties and eventually orders both of them out of the tub after the bickering becomes intolerable.

2014-02-12 7:00pm - Mike brushes Rowan's teeth. Rowan turns on the water, spits in the sink, and then drinks from the cup. After drinking he dumps the water out all over the sink and counter holding the sink. Mike yells "Nooooo!" Rowan inexplicably has no idea that the water was supposed to go into the sink. Mike brushes Rowans teeth give's him another drink, and calls the tooth brushing done.

Mike then reads Rowan books and puts him to bed. Sydney attends the reading and Mike determines that he can do a good impersonation of clumsy smurf. Sydney encourages Mike to read in this voice.

2014-02-12 7:30pm - Mike gets Sydney desert and they watch the Cat in the Hat. Mike nips the bedtime negotiations in the bud before the TV is turned on. While watching, Sydney autographs her valentines.

2014-02-12 8:00pm - Mike puts Sydney to bed. Sydney is so tired that she lets Mike pick her second book and bows out on the third. Mike leaves during Nobody's Fool. Sydney is totally zonked.

2014-02-12 8:20pm - Mike does the dishes.

[mightymulhern]

The following takes place on Thursday the 13th between 4:30am and 11:30pm.

2014-02-13 4:30am - Rowan whines and wakes Mike up. Mike eventually falls back asleep.

2014-02-13 6:30am - The alarm goes off. No one is whining. Mike briefly contemplates going back to sleep. Mike also notes that the Hard Cider with Ginseng he had last night left a bit of a headache.

2014-02-13 6:33am - Sydney comes in to tell Mike it's time to get up.

2014-02-13 6:34am - Mike and Sydney get Rowan up. Rowan is less than enthusiastic.

2014-02-13 6:40am - Mike suggests something new for breakfast and has two kinds of Nutri-grain cereal bars – cherry and apple cinnamon. Sydney picks apple cinnamon. We give Rowan cherry. (It's at this point that Mike learns that Sydney doesn't like cherry) Both children inhale their bars and have another. Mike gets in the shower. *knock knock* Sydney – “Rowan wants another bar.” Mike briefly contemplates refusing this request on the grounds that no 1yr old requires 3 breakfast bars for breakfast and then thinks better of it. After all, he's going to have 30% of his daily allowance of vitamin A, 45% of his calcium, and 75% of his riboflavin. Mike – “Ok... get him one please.”

2014-02-13 6:50am - Mike gets Rowan dressed and chooses jeans and a black T shirt. Seeing this, Sydney chooses a matching outfit. Mike recalls his black T shirt and jeans days and wonders if he's being too much of an influence.

2014-02-13 6:55am - Mike brushes Rowan's teeth. Rowan again (in the following order) turns on the water, spits in the sink, takes a drink of water, and then intentionally dumps the water on the floor completely missing the sink. Mike yells “Noooooooo!”. Rowan looks at Mike as if to say, “Dude, I'm one. I'll dump it wherever and whenever I want.”

2014-02-13 7:00am - Mike brushes Sydney's teeth, relocates Rowan, and then works on Sydney's hair which is tangled from not being braided the night before. Sydney is clearly cross from the pulling and says she misses Mom.

2014-02-13 7:10am - Mike scurries around like a mad man packing up the car. Since Mike is going downtown today everything feels like it takes 6x longer to accomplish.

2014-02-13 7:20am - Mike gets the kids in the car and then realizes he can't leave the back door unlocked because he's going to work. Mike goes back inside, locks the back door, exists and locks the side door, and gets back in the car.

2014-02-13 7:30am - Mike drops Rowan off. Rex loses his mind. Rowan is less interested in Rex having been growled at yesterday. (Yesterday evening Rowan offered Rex a bone in addition to the one Rex was already chewing on. Rex was neither amused nor interested in sharing his bones with Rowan and gave him a fierce growl.) Ms. Mary asks about the interaction, and Mike comments that Rex was grumpy last night.

2014-02-13 7:50am - Mike drops Sydney off. Mike packs a snow suit and boots into Sydney's cubby along with her cot cover, jacket, and other prized possessions. Mike comments to Ms. Rochelle that we're moving in. Sydney dances around like a goof ball and doesn't want Mike to go. Mike quickly excuses himself.

2014-02-13 8:00am - Having missed the train, Mike sits in the station waiting 20 minutes for the next train. Mike listens to some lady at the front of a line of people quizzing the guy at the ticket window about the cost of a ticket for a ride on Sunday.

Editorial Comment: Are you F***ing kidding me? She showed up during rush hour and stood in a line with 10 people behind her to ask about the fare (which is posted) on Sunday. Perhaps she should have bought a ticket for today as well and paid for it with a check or maybe spare nickels from the bottom of her purse.

2014-02-13 9:15am - Mike arrives at work.

2014-02-13 6:15pm - Mike arrives home. Rowan has received a change in shirt due to an applesauce malfunction. Sydney is snuggling with Kelsey and is either tired or sad. Rowan demonstrates his ability to swing on the big kid swing to Kelsey. Kelsey comments on how clean the house is and heads home.

2014-02-13 6:30pm - Mike feeds the kids Peanut Butter and Dark Chocolate spread sandwiches. Sydney devours hers between trips to the bathroom (hasn't had a BM since Sunday). Rowan eats some of his sandwich and eats 6 strawberries, 2 of which he stuffed into his mouth whole. During dinner, Rowan rips a huge fart and grins. Later as Sydney is getting off the potty he insists on getting on it. Nothing happens but he still wants to flush.

2014-02-13 7:00pm - Mike brushes Rowan's teeth and gets him into jammies. Rowan repeats his tooth brushing ritual and mostly hits the sink with the water. Mike reads Rowan “Room on the Broom” , “Lama Lama Red Pajama”, and “Lama Lama Time to Share” and puts Rowan to bed.

2014-02-13 7:25pm - Sydney and Mike watch the Cat in the Hat until 8:30 when Mike puts Sydney to bed. Mike quizzes Sydney on her spelling words.

2014-02-12 8:45pm - Mike signs all of Rowan's Valentines for tomorrow and puts both kids Valentines in their bags lest they be forgotten and the world come to a screeching end at 8am tomorrow morning. (You're welcome everyone!)

2014-02-13 9:00pm - Mike takes the garbage out.

2014-02-13 10:30pm - Sydney has a bad dream and gets up. Mike puts her back to bed.

2014-02-13 11:30pm - Sydney claims she can't sleep because she misses Mom. Mike talks to her briefly and puts her back to bed. Mike goes to bed.